im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize