I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
