That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
operation have a gay friend backfired
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So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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