:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
