Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
