Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You are a genius and a whore.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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