u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My vagina is very pro this idea
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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