Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
