i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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