It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
