just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize