Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
