I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
