Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im holly from the hills drunk
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
