dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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