Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
