So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize