Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
