I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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