he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
