I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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