Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
