It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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