if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
