Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
