woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
