Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
