Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
