At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
