do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
