He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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