Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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