dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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