Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
