she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize