Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
