he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He passed out mid-signature
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
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