Dual....:-)
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
