pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
