I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
