i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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