My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
