now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
someone get that fucking seahorse.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
