how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
