It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
