So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
