By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
