My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
