You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My vagina is very pro this idea
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
