fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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