the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize