Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
