My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
