return my video game
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
