Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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