Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want her autograph on my taint
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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