i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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