Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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