what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
