His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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